Okay so last night I went out with Taylor to "Knight Lights" and it was kind of fun. We were only supposed to go for a little while because we were going to go to a party after. We stayed there until 2 and didn't go to the party that I wanted to go to =(. Sometimes I feel like it's always like that and it always is going to be.

The other thing that I don't really understand is if I'm not dancing then why do guys come up to me and ask me to dance with them. I turned them down instantly but somehow they still felt the need to stick around It's funny watching drunk people when you're sober though so I think that made up for it.

I'm also sick as a dog. I can't stand up without vomiting and I have a huge headache. It's like I got a hang over just from being in that atmosphere. I want to go lay about by the pool but I don't think they'd be okay with my situation.

seriously, life care center of orlando is retarded. I called this morning and said I'm not feeling well and don't think it would be a good idea to come into work. What does he say to me? "Go to the doctor and get some medicines". Hmm, let's learn some english. So I go to the walk-in clinic and she says I have a contagious tonsil infection and that I shouldn't go into work. Which I completely agree with because the elderly have weakened immune systems. So I call him again and say I went to the doctor it's contagious and she gave me a note not to come in to work so I won't be in today. He starts going on and on about god knows what. All that I could recover from his broken english was something about he's not supposed to accept call ins unless it's a fatal illness.. but all I really heard is we screwed up by reducing so many people over the past couple of months and now the state is coming in to evaluate us and we need to have our hours up so we look good on paper when we're really running an illegal operation by having a high patient to CNA ratio. stupid assholes.

I really hate hurting people's feelings. I finally talked to Brad today after breaking up with him on Saturday. I know he was extremely upset but he managed to pull himself together. He made me realize that I just used him as an accessory, something to keep me happy, something to keep me company when I was lonely. That's just not right. I've been doing it for so long, dating guys solely because they're into me and I don't like to be alone. There's more to it than that and it's going to take a lot to stray from my old ways but I know I can do it.

The world is a scary place.

Correction to the last entry: I'm not by myself I'm just slightly antisocial. Don't tell anyone I admitted to that though.

Today at work one of my patients had her trach tube removed and whenever she would talk it would make fart noises. I couldn't talk to her for too long not only because it was hard to understand her when her voice was competing with a continuum of fart noises but also because I was afraid I might accidentally laugh a little.

I'm in Orlando by myself for a little while but strangely I'm enjoying the time alone.
I feel the best when I get things done and when I learn new things. Today I went grocery shopping, did some stuff at the school, cleaned my apartment pretty well, cooked a good dinner and read a chapter of a book. I learned a few new vocabulary words from the book which makes me happy.

Work gets weirder with each day and instead of trying to reduce me they're trying to make me work doubles.. not cool. Oh yeah and I think everyone should consider being a DNR when they're old and in a nursing home because when someone codes it's scary business. I personally wouldn't like having my ribs cracked and constant CPR action. I'd rather just leave the world in peace.

haha I always think I'm going to keep you updated but I always end up failing a little (or a lot). I have a boyfriend who is kinda cool.. not exactly perfect but no one is. He keeps me company and is pretty funny so that's cool. Umm.. physiology is on a teeter totter.. hopefully I'll end up on top. If I don't get into the nursing program it won't be a big deal because Dallas decided to come back to nursing so now he's behind.. and he wouldn't be able to apply until next fall anyways. I'd rather be in it with him than just a bunch of stupid girls.

Umm also, I got bit by a squirrel at school today. I was just eating my sandwich in peace when the little booger came up and took a little nibble at my finger.

I didn't win the lottery either, this is the 2nd time I bought a ticket so I figured I had to win.. but I guess it's 3rd time's a charm.

Thanksgiving with Danielle and then Dallas tomorrow and then work.. need to get some rest.

I can't decide if I'd rather freeze or starve.. I don't know why I have to decide that though... This little kitten is so sweet, he's kind of a pain in the ass sometimes though. I'm really tired party because Clifford (the kitten) felt like it was okay to attack me this morning until I got up. I tolerated it for about 2 hours and then decided I had to escape from it. So, this is for the journals sake, so I can look back at this and say ohhh yeah. Anyways, I got into a car accident last friday. My car is totaled and I was pretty upset about it. My parents decided that I wanted a 2009 ford focus to replace it and I'm not going to complain because it's a brand new car and I've always just had used ones. But I think that if I went to the dealership I wouldn't have picked it. They're definitely better than the older models though. Work has been reducing me like crazy, I think it's time to look for a new job.

right now I'm really glad that you don't have a live journal because there's no other way that I could let this out. This isn't easy for me but I am doing it by myself. I have made a lot of progress and I don't need your fucking help, what you did isn't helping it just makes me feel like a fucking child. I really can do this by myself so please just let me.

I just swallowed a bug.. that's all the update you get.

This is going to be a long one so go get some food and settle down.

Okay, Indiana. We took the motor home and Christina got to come with us which I was excited about. It was nice to spend time with her and my little brother.. and of course my mom, dad and other family members. I realized that I don't completely hate the little bichon that my parents bought recently and I actually like it. We saw amish people and hung out at the lake house. I don't know if Christina really liked the lake house as much as I do. She didn't want to go tubing and I had so much fun while I was tubing. Maybe I'm too old for it? I don't know. I also realized that my Indiana family is extremely frugal. To a point where it's almost kind of annoying. For example, my aunt buys things that she finds on sale and then stores them in a room so that she can rummage through it around Christmas and birthdays to give as gifts... I love my family in Indiana but I would never move there to be closer to them. I guess that's kind of fucked up to say though.

Christina moved out today.. about an hour ago actually. I'm really upset about it because I know I won't be able to go to Vero a whole lot to visit. I just hope she can come up to Orlando a lot. She hasn't moved everything out yet but she did move a couple of things and the apartment feels empty already. Mia is gone and I'm really sad about that. I really do love that cat.

Taylor and I have our apartment picked out already.. I can't remember if I posted that or not. We're living in Ashton at Waterford Lakes it's a really nice apartment and I can't wait to get furniture and stuff like that. I always feel like I can't get furniture until I see the apartment.. like it won't fit or something. I know that's weird but I can't help it. Our move in date is July 23rd and we're supposed to be out of Alafaya club by August 1st so it'll be an okay move.. not too stressful or anything.

The boy I kind of liked has a girlfriend as of two days ago. That really sucks. But I know I'll be okay with him as just a friend. I really don't think that he'll date his girlfriend for much longer than the summer because she lives in Gainesville and she's only here for summer.

I feel kind of crappy.. a lot is going on.

I got a C in anatomy.. I'm upset because I know I put my all into it and it just sucks that I get a C. I know it's better than some of the other people but I feel like my hard work was worth so much more than that.

Christina is moving back to Vero, I'm excited for her because she got an awesome job but I'm going to miss her like hell. I'm glad I have Taylor but it's definitely going to be difficult. I've lived in the same town as her forever. I guess I'm just scared because Taylor and I are figuring out where we're going to live and I know it's going to be expensive.

I went out to meet my friend Nick at a party and he was really upset (and really drunk). His best friend got into a motorcycle accident last night and lost both of his legs. It hurt me to see him so rattled up and on my way home I got cut off by a speeding motorcycle guy. So dumb.

Eh, this is just making it worse. I should go to bed =)

yesterday Christina and I went to the farmer's market. It was pretty cool, I went to kind of one in New York but it wasn't really the same as this one. We had crepes for lunch and I got daisies and a sunflower that I put in the window (they make me smile when I walk by). We also got Mia Nevada kitty grass which she loves to eat.

I went grocery shopping and got all healthy food. This lady who was handing out yogurt samples gave me a bunch of them because she bought them and her kids didn't like them so that was pretty sweet because it's good yogurt.

Christina and I walked 5 miles on aforementioned trail and there were news people, cops and the family of the girl who died. I couldn't figure out what was going on but I felt sad =(

I helped my neighbor move a washer, she didn't have a truck so I made Corey do it for her and she gave him $10 for helping so that was nice. I have to go to work in 30 minutes and that's good because my brain might explode from all of this studying I'm doing. I really really really hope I get a B in this class.

uhh.. I forgot about you again. I'm sorry livejournal I know you'll get over it eventually though.

Okay so Monday I had an anatomy test and I didn't do great but whatever.. and then I went running on this trail. I ran for a bit and got tired and decided to walk the rest of the trail. I asked this girl how long the trail was and she said 7 miles. So I got to the 3.5 mile marker and was kind of tired but decided to keep going and eventually it turned into a loop and it looped me back to where I had already been. I thought it was a circle but it wasn't. I asked someone how to get back and I had to go more than 3.5 miles back which means that I walked about 10 miles. The scariest part is the very next day a woman who was running by herself was raped and killed on the same track. I'm pretty lucky that I just got sunburnt and sweaty.

Thursday is my last anatomy lecture exam and friday is the last lab practical. I'm finally getting my life back! I met some cool people in my class though I don't regret taking it summer session, it was just hardddddd. I'm going to go jog around the campus.. I might wuss out and go to the gym at my apartments but I'm definitely making flashcards first. And party tonight, very much needed.

75 on the anatomy test.. better than most but not what I wanted. My lab practical is tomorrow and I'm super distracted/just don't feel like studying. I'm going to New York this weekend with my mom so that's pretty exciting. However, anatomy is my life right now so I have to bring my laptop to study so I don't fall behind.

For the first time I realize that I need to plan my actions carefully in order to get the results that I want. I could have easily not studied and gotten a worse grade. I could have continued to lead ugly boys on and have to put up with their bullshit and wanting to hang out all of the time. I could have left my apartment a disgusting pig sty for my mother's visit this weekend. Now all I have to do is convince myself that more studying for anatomy and more sleeping is beneficial.

waking up this morning to take my grandpa to the doctor kicked my ass. I kept dozing off at the wheel and at one point I went off the shoulder and it made that annoying noise. I came home and slept for 4 hours after that and I'm still tired. Orlando wasn't as awesome as I was hoping it would be.. I did get a lot of things from the mall though. I'm moving into my apartment in a month and a half.. I'm excited but I think I need that time to get all of my stuff together and to buy more things that I need. I don't know, today was a weird day.

dear livejournal, I'm sorry that I forgot my password and left you alone for so long. I had an awesome night, Chris is <3. Orlando tomorrow I'm psyched. Islands of Adventure and Scoops. Ahhh! Happy Birthday Alexa

So.. everything isn't quite into place yet (with school and work) and I think a few changes are necessary in order to have time for everything that I need to do. I'm excited and scared at the same time. I'm trying my best to remain calm about everything, college is intimidating. I know that I will have seniors in my classes but it will still be weird. New usually excites me and it sort of does but at the same time I'm nervous, scared and naive. Panera is starting to stress me out as well.. random drug testing, new rules, no discount (unless working), numberous untrained employees and more than twice that many unsatisfied customers. When it comes down to it I think I'd rather be the unsatisfied customer than the stressed out employee (especially if you can only get a discount while you're working). I want to have time for my friends and my homework. This entry was purely for venting purposes. If you're reading this, thank you for your time, have a lovely day and remember my problems are not really problems and I'm still enjoying every moment of my life no matter what I write in my live journal.

so I definately have been feeling like shit, don't let me lie to you I'm not okay. But there's nothing anyone could do to make it better. I'm just a horrible person. The internet is a depressant. I hate it. I hate myspace too.

it's been a while since I updated.. and I'm bored now so I may as well update..(notice the weird layout that I took the time to steal from somewhere and put on here) umm I got a new job at sunshine physical therapy my mom's friend is the controller which reminds me of that weird book we had to read in 8/9th grade although it's not like that at all.. I do filing and I can go in whenever I want as long as it's for four hours.. but if there's nothing to do I can go home. It's good for me. I went to the beach today and got sunburnt. I also went swimming in my pool, it reminded me of all the fun I had when I was a kid. Me and Carlface have been dating officially for a month.. about two if you count the unofficial month. He's a really good guy the other day we sat by the pond at his apartment complex and watched the sun go down. I can't say any other guy I've ever been with would do that with me. Anyways, that's enough updating for me.